Learning Patience at Home

I met a very sweet lady at a church meeting this morning with whom I really "hit it off." I discovered that she chose this year to stop homeschooling her two sons and put them into a semi-private school. Because I have such a burden for homeschooling, it felt like a dagger through my chest. Even after watching a marvelous video by Voddie Baucham (that I really must get a copy of) with incredible answers to "why we homeschool," I still couldn't find the words to say to her. I think for the situation, it was appropriate to applaud her efforts at doing her best with them while they were little, and allow her to share how much more free time she now has. But I was still a little disappointed. That's just me.

Then later today, a neighbor expressed that she is again considering homeschooling. She is a wonderful person and a joy to have for a neighbor, but there is a part of me that doesn't understand the internal conflict. Homeschooling is just something that I have always wanted to do, and I really do believe that it is the right thing to do. Not to mention a God-given right. I'm so thankful that I have the privilege to do so.

I discussed it briefly with T tonight, and he pointed out that "most" people think they do not have the patience to homeschool their children. I laughed. I said, "Neither do I! I don't have that in me. No one is born with that kind of patience. No one is born with enough patience to parent effectively, for that matter. Some people may be inherently better at it than others, but at heart we're all just really selfish and impatient. I have to rely on God everyday to give me the patience to do what I have to do. Without supernatural patience and support from other people, I would be lost!"

Very passionate impromptu speech on my part. T just looked at me and said, "You're right." (I like it when that happens.) But, oh how the enemy would like to use those words to smack me around. No, you're not good enough. You still lose your cool sometimes just because things don't go the way you planned. You act like you've got it together, but you don't. He accuses, he lies, he condemns. But, thank you Jesus, the enemy has no power over me. By the power of the Holy Spirit I am growing the Fruit of the Spirit in my life. There are times when I need that supernatural dose of patience, and I mean I need it NOW. But the Lord is also slowly developing patience in my life -- and how does He do that? By giving me occasions to practice it. And practice it. And practice it. And for even these things, I am grateful. And I am incredibly grateful that I am blessed to homeschool my beautiful daughter - and in turn, learn patience.

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Eph 4:2